Why game reviewers on TV should be shot.

Yesterday I was watching a preview for a game coming out. The nice young lady (Morgan Webb) was talking to a developer about this new game that was basically a cross between crap and more crap. The game in question is Prototype. You play a shape shifter that can "eat" people and then become them. You’re all powerful too allowing you to grow armor and weapons to take out hundreds of guys shooting at you for no reason on the docks of New York City.

I mean seriously. The developer says people want to be all powerful and nothing can harm them. Yeah people who are noobs. 12 year olds with their game genie and cheat codes for god mode. No talent ass clowns that in all honesty should not be playing games and should instead be sucking on their momma's teet.

Yeah I am talking to you, go cry yourself to sleep on your huge absorbent pilla!

To the rest of you, we are all much better than this crap. I don’t care about a game that gives me free roaming of New York (been there re: Spiderman the game). I don’t care about being all powerful and able to destroy cars as your running down the street(cars that look all the same, what did a Honda dealer open up and scare other car dealers away. We all know New Yorkers only drive Honda civics). I don’t give a rats ass about being able to shape shift into a dude that looks like Ron Jeremy or the dude from 3 men and a baby (pick one of the three).

Honestly developers. Listen to the people. Quit making crap. Have a great story and some visuals to go with it. We don’t want any more smash em up 'Hulk' games that make you so strong you can take out a city block with a well placed fart.

Take Crysis visuals, mix em with a bit of assassins creed stealth game play, mixed with splinter cell stealth which is awesome, get some COD4 action (first level COD4, the rest so far has become a plateau), then throw it all in with some great story and back-story like apparently (I have not played it yet) mass effect or final fantasy. Realism sells, but fantasy mixed with realism... gold mine.

If a developer reads this (doubt it) and they want a real gamer to help you create a story that will sell millions and then go on to become a blockbuster movie and TV series with great merchandise capability, Message me. (I promise not to use so many bracketed phrases)

2cp

P.S. I forgot to say why reviewers should be shot and instead I went into why developers should be shot. The reviewer said "We cant wait for this game to come out because it looks awsome." /cock gun /pull trigger.