GTA 4... or GTA 3 with better ___

Ok, so I rented GTA 4. Yes that’s right, I am too broke to buy it.

So I gave it a shot this weekend. The game pissed me off more than I liked. The controls are retarded. Seriously, they have a cover system that does not work a lot of the time, and the driving is so sensitive that if you move the stick a bit too far you end up almost losing control of the car.

Now the story is fun. I’ll admit that. And the city is pretty vibrant. You cannot go into every store but there are a few (maybe 10-15) on the first island that you can go on. I found though that this game actually made me toss my controller against the fing wall. Seriously, I hated racing and getting into battles. Racing if I hit the wrong button I am in the ditch. I have played driving games and I can hairpin on Gran Turismo so tight you cannot slip a piece of paper in between my front bumper and the inside line. Yet I cannot drive these fing cars to save my life. They have a grand prix in the game that is like mine and I’ll be damned if my car moved that that POS.

Fighting/shooting is also a pain in the ass. I was jamming on the buttons to get a punch off and do you think anything came off? No! Also holding the button half way down to manual target.... press it anymore and your back to auto target.... do they actually play the fing games?

The missions are the same as before. Steal a car, bring it here. Go kill this guy. Race this car and win. Drive me here. Etc. But they did add a new feature called relationships. You do things with people to make them like you. Wayyy to easy if you ask me since I went out with this girl, who is obviously an undercover cop, and I slept with her on the first date.

This game should also be rated adult and the boob tape removed. I mean, what’s the point of having a game rated M, then putting lap dances in it and keeping the rating of M by putting boob tape on the girl.... It’s still a lap dance. And hookers.... aside from being naked, they hop on you for 70 bucks and ride you like you’re a horse in need of breaking.

Rate it adult and remove the cloths man.

Also, this weekend I finished my first kidney belt for SCA fighting. It’s made from scrap and the stain did not penetrate before I put the clear coat on so I streaked it (which made it look like cherry wood... sweeeettt!). But it’s cool and it will be of some use.

2cp